Seems faith is the lesson I’m going through at the moment. It got started being asked to be focused on before I left. And has become quite an obvious focal point in the last month.
Yesterday I was both fortunate and unfortunate. Fortunate to meet some Hapas/locals, with good hearts. To see their home, their land, and things tourists would never see.
When I met them them, and was asked by my traveling compatriot for my assessment, it was “good hearts. but on ice (ice being meth)”. aka, I knew they weren’t going to jack us, or hurt us, but that their being addicted to a drug such as that was going to bite us, or me, in the ass. Due to associations, due to not being as aware as they would be if they were not addicted to such.
I was spot on. No harm came from them. But rather, from their lack of awareness, from being high on ice. And from my trusting/having faith, to too far an extent. I should have gone by my original assessment, which was “they have good hearts, but the ice will cloud that, and while I can trust them and their intentions, that is all I can trust”. I sent my faith further than that, and trusted further than that.
The situation could have been MUCh worse. “all” I ended up losing was every penny I had to my name. Which wasn’t much, as far as most people are concerned, but made the difference for me. 40$ for life, as I tried to find ways to make more. And $100 emergency money. Cash ONLY to be spent on emergencies, not day to day. That 100$ was the difference. The difference between me being a traveler/adventurer/explorer… and a homeless bum, at the whimsy of the universe. But it could have been worse. I could have lost my backpack and everything in it too.
And the things I had faith in, worked out how I thought. And the things I was a bit worried about, did go wrong.
So is this lesson supposed to be to have more faith? Or to trust where I don’t have faith? Had I more faith, would that not have happened? Or am I supposed to have faith when I intuit guardedness needed? Something else? I don’t know what I’m supposed to take from this.
If anyone wants to help me not feel like a homeless bum at the whimsy of the universe, ANYTHING (as I have nothing, financially speaking, at this point) helps. You can help by sending ANYTHING to firstname.lastname@example.org, via paypal.
And if not… the one other thing I had faith in…. and am trying to retain faith in.
Is that everything is going to be okay. Somehow. Some way.
Nothing I had faith in was broken, even while bad things happened. So… I’m trying very hard to keep the faith that I kept during all this. That, one way or another. Everything is going to be okay.